Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | July 22, 2011

what next?

It has been an utterly shitty week.

The sale on our old house is off, a week before closing. Fuck.

S has been away on a business trip for a week. I have yet again a new appreciation for how much he does to help with Birdie and the household in general.

It has been infuckingcredibly hot and miserable for the entire past week.

Birdie has gone from sleeping through the night to waking 2 or 3 times a night.

Birdie has been throwing epic tantrums lately. I feel like a shitty shitty parent. My patience and reserves for dealing with the thrashing and kicking and biting (me, herself, the FLOOR wtf!)  is GONE.

I thought we were done with nursing. She went 2 days without nursing at all, then has nursed briefly at bedtime (like a minute maybe). That second night that she didn’t nurse at all, I was a wreck. I came downstairs bawling, hysterical. I couldn’t even explain the emotions to S. I felt like someone/something had died. Such an intense feeling of loss. Then the next day I felt better and could focus on the positive aspects of weaning. Then she asked to nurse the next night. Now I guess we are in weaning limbo. Could her grumpiness and night waking be related to weaning? Has that happened to any of you with weaning?

I hope next week is better.



  1. Peter has been biting me like a FIEND. And ever since the day we found out I was pregnant he has been getting up 3-12 times a night and wailing. The week after weaning was very difficult for us both. I think you should just rip off the bandaid and be done, just to get the emotional roller coaster over. It was such a hard time, the nursing hormones are very potent and losing them was a huge thing.

  2. I don’t have any advice about weaning but there is an 18 month sleep regression that is normal, so it could just be that (I know you’re a little past 18 months, but maybe it’s just hitting late). Or maybe she’s picking up on the stress from trying to sell the house.

    I don’t know how single parents do this. Not a clue. It makes me wish that we had reliable family closer so that I could get a meaningful break for awhile.

    The big advantage to having Birdie weaned is that you actually could get away from her for a longer break. You should take a spa day or something and revel in having your body all to yourself when you get the chance. I’ll be sad when Michael weans, but I sure hope I get some time between him and TTC for #2 because I want to have my body back for awhile and not feel like I have to be there for every nap or bedtime.

  3. ((HUG)) I hope the time flies by and your dh is home and you can get a break or do something fun for yourself.

  4. So sorry the house fell through.
    My experience with weaning (from the pump) was that I suffered from bad anxiety and insomnia for a few weeks. My family doctor says she went through major mood rollercoasters herself, and that she’s spoken to other women who had the same experience. The hormone shifts are brutal, and you’ll probably feel a little nuts for a couple weeks. Hang in there – it will get better!

  5. i think it’s the age, louise is effing crazy right now, she has been pretty crabby for most of our trip, boo. sorry you’re having such a hard time and also about the house, it’s so hard in our area to sell property.

  6. Sorry about the house not going through, the heat, and weaning. I really hope next week is better for you!

  7. I’m so so sorry. What a shitty week indeed! Hope things turn around soon. I think everything you’re feeling w/weaning is totally normal, and I am certain that Birdie is acting out because of the increased independence. This is a tough time for them anyway with still wanting to be with us but needing to venture out and break away…the conflict of independence. Hang in there! You are a wonderful mom — none of this is any reflection on you at all!

  8. boo. 😦 so sorry about the house.

    and wtf is going on with the heat?? 😦

  9. I hope things have gotten better. That’s a lot of stress and bad news to process. What a rough week.

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