Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | December 9, 2009

uncontrollable

Yesterday morning, I poured a bowl of multigrain cheerios and reached into the fridge for the milk. I noticed that there were some leftovers that needed to be chucked (past my 3 day rule). That lead to me going through the entire fridge, throwing away questionable items and removing several shelves and washing them. That lead to me going through the upper cabinets and throwing out old crap (do dry lentils even go bad?) and organizing everything by expiration date. Then the lower cabinets. Then the pantry. I threw away an old broken blender and a few things I knew we would never end up using. I made a giant pile of garbage in the middle of the kitchen floor, and it took me three garbage bags to get rid of everything. An hour and a half later, I ended up sitting down and eating my cereal.

I think nesting has hit. I still haven’t packed my bag for the hospital though. Why can’t my uncontrollable urges be put to better use?

Wacky emotions have also hit. I drove around and did some errands on Monday, and during the thirty minutes I was in the car, I burst into tears at least 6 times. Happy, sad, angry, whatever, it doesn’t matter, I am going to cry about it.

There is a sad looking squirrel that comes to the deck to eat from my ground feeder. I call him Patchy. He has bald patches all over his body, and he is so scrawny. The other squirrels chase him away all the time. I thought for a while that he might be looking a little better and fattening up from all the nuts I’ve been putting out hoping that he gets a decent share of them, but I saw him yesterday during a snowstorm and he was all wet and pathetic looking. Of course, I cried.

We have a nasty, nasty storm coming for the next few days, and every time I think about Patchy being out there in the freezing, freezing cold, I cry. I hope he has a cozy nest up in a tree somewhere and that he can stay warm enough. I’m going through peanuts and bird food like crazy, hoping that he’ll eat enough to survive. I know he’s probably going to die and it breaks my heart. I hope that freezing to death isn’t a bad way to go for a squirrel.

I am also full of anxiety about going to labor during an icy, nasty storm. It took winter weather a while to get going here in Michigan, but it’s starting to get nasty. I certainly don’t want to overreact and get to the hospital too early and have them send me home, but I also don’t want to wait too long and not make it there. I also don’t want to get in an accident on icy roads on the way. It’s a good thirty minute drive to the hospital I will deliver at in good weather with no traffic. I have my ultrasound, non stress test and ob appointment on Friday, so I guess we’ll see how gigantic this baby is and maybe she’ll set a date for induction.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Oh, your poor little squirrel. I feel bad for him too. Just driving down the road and seeing the road kill is almost too much for me somedays (pregnant or not). It makes me so sad. Make sure you have lots of reserve food in case you get trapped in for awhile.

    The weather factor freaks me out too. Cross your fingers and hope for good weather. Your doula should be able to help you know when to go to the hospital. And if you call L&D when you are in labor and tell them how your contractions are timing they will probably tell you to stay home or come in. I bet the worst case is that you end up wishing you’d stayed home longer if you go into labor on your own.

  2. You make me feel so normal. That squirrel would have me in hysterics right now. I just feel so *sensitive,* like every emotional nerve is exposed. Even happy little moments make me tear up.

    I think your nesting urges are a great sign that things are moving in the right direction! I sincerely hope that the weather cooperates and you have an easy drive to the hospital when it’s time. But even if it’s wintery out, though I’m sure it will just add to the drama, you will get there just fine! Thinking of you — getting so excited for you.

  3. Oh poor Patchy! I would have already tried to trap him and keep him in a nice warm cage of some sort and fed him til he slept for a day because he was so content and happy πŸ™‚

    I have followed your story for a few months now and am so excited for you. I was blessed with my daughter 10 yrs ago in a bad marriage and now that I have a good marriage and a great hubby (who doesn’t have kids), all I want is a baby. We have tried for 4 years, spent thousands of dollars, cried, had two miscarriages, cried some more but it is stories like yours that keep me going everyday.

    I will continue to pray for you and your family – especially baby bird. Get cracking on that hospital bag. You never know when baby bird will want to make an appearance πŸ™‚ Good luck and God bless you.

    Jennifer


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: