Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | December 5, 2009

“and what are your plans for birth control after the baby is born?”

I burst out laughing when my doctor asked me this at my 37 week appointment today. I believe my response was “Well, between my husband’s super crappy sperm and my PCOS and anovulation, the years of infertility and unsuccessful treatments, and the fact that we will probably not be having much sex, I think we are probably covered.”

She was not entirely amused, and she insisted that women are SUPERFERTILE after giving birth and went over all of our options. I get what she is saying. As much as I would like a buy 1 get 1 free special, it would be good to have six months or so to recover before getting knocked up again. But 99% of me is so damn certain that we could never be that lucky (to get pregnant on our own, randomly, without treatments), and if we were, well, so what? We’d deal with it. And probably save about ten thousand dollars trying for #2. I can’t imagine using birth control after trying for so long. I’m 35! I don’t want to go on the pill or the shot or get an IUD or any damn thing that could take a while to normalize from. I suppose we could use condoms if we were really concerned, but the severe male factor kinda takes care of that.

Plus, seriously, what are the chances, with me planning to breastfeed, that we’d happen to have sex (ha!) on the random unknown day that I ovulate for the first time (ha!) and that one of his 4% normal sperm would get to that egg and fertilize it (ha!) and then that it would correctly implant? Low, low, low. Am I crazy? For those of you who have been there, what did you do about birth control after pregnancy after infertility?

I had my first non stress test today. It was interesting. About 10 minutes in, the machine beeped loudly a bunch of times and I couldn’t hear the heartbeat during that time, and I went into a panic that the baby was dying right as I was lying in that chair. But the beeping stopped and the heartbeat returned, so I calmed down. It turned out that the machine ran out of paper. I was all strapped in and the nurse didn’t come back for 15 or 20 minutes, so she changed the paper and left me there for another 20 minutes. Another nurse came in and wasn’t happy about the lack of movement and accelerations so she left me again for another 15 or so minutes. In the end, everything was fine. They saw enough accelerations to be satisfied.

I also had the group B strep testing done. I forgot to ask all of my questions. I was so amused by the birth control conversation, and I didn’t have my notebook next to me, and I was sitting there in my paper drape after getting swabbed so I couldn’t hop up and get it. I was going to ask about these painful cramps I’ve been having randomly in the lower left side of the belly. They started a few days ago and were enough to take my breath away. Wow, that must be a contraction, I thought to myself. Wow, that fucking hurts. I thought Braxton Hicks weren’t supposed to be painful? If these little preliminary ones are enough to make me panic, how in the hell am I going to handle real labor?

I’m looking at my ticker. Seeing that I have 20 days to go is making me both incredibly excited and incredibly freaked out. What an amazing 37 weeks this has been. I look around at the car seat and the crib and the play yard and try to envision a real live baby in them, and I still cannot. Tonight when S leaned over to give me my 5 goodnight kisses, we looked at each other, like really looked at each other. Neither of us said anything, but we had this moment where it was understood that life is about to really change, that we are about to meet this new little person we have created, and we are so excited. I’m writing this here because I want to remember that moment always.

It’s like a really good dessert that you want to take little tiny bites of and savor for as long as you possibly can. These next couple of weeks are going to go by so fast. I could easily spend them freaking out, cleaning the house, making endless lists,  nagging at S to do all these things on my lists, and worrying. Or I could try to relax, sit down and enjoy these crazy waves of movement in my uterus, get lots of rest and enjoy the last bit of time with just the two of us. I think I should strive for that.

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Responses

  1. Wow! You are so close. I actually cracked up a little bit imagining someone mentioning birth control to me. Seriously? If I can get pregant again without shelling out 15K I will be THRILLED…love it. I will look forward to this laughter one day.

  2. Almost there!

    I have thought about the BCP stuff a lot. Truth is we won’t be able to afford having a second one in day care for awhile, so we need to prevent for at least a year I figure. I really want to see what my body does, because it was actually kinda working when I got pregnant, so I don’t immediately want to go on pills or something. I honestly think condoms will be our method and if by chance I actually achieve some degree of regularity, I might try FAM. If you don’t mind the chance of getting prego again really quickly, I wouldn’t worry about it, but I don’t think your male factor was terribly bad, so it could happen. Could.

    You’ll be using that baby stuff soon enough.

  3. LOL, your response about birth control reminded me of some friends of mine who needed ART to conceive the first time and had twins. Then she got pregnant again in the first few months after they were born, because, of course, they couldn’t conceive without help. Tough first couple of years for them with twins and a baby. (I don’t know what their fertility issues were, though.)

    I think if I were in your situation, though, I would probably laugh off the birth control, too. 🙂

  4. I CANNOT believe that you are 37 weeks!! It’s incredible… I’ve been watching you from the beginning and it seems (to me) to have flown! 🙂 Yes, I ignored the birth control question as well. At my 6 week appointment it came up and I artfully avoided the question by changing the subject. I am birth control free, my baby is 20 weeks old, and no, I am not knocked up. Seriously, people. 🙂 Odds are it won’t happen on it’s own, but who am I to try to STOP the impossible? 🙂 Can’t wait for you to meet your little one!!!!!

  5. I’m not planning on birth control either. Between breastfeeding/pumping exclusively, my PCO/LPD hormone whackiness, and DH’s crap sperm, I think the chances are low enough that I don’t need to worry about it. And if I get pg again within the first few months? Bonus! I’m not planning to wait a year to go for my FET, because I want my kids to be close together. I was 13 months apart from my brother, and it was great.
    Can’t believe you’re so close to delivery!

  6. Wow — you have officially reached TERM! Congratulations! Can’t believe how close you are — and can’t wait to hear your good news. It’s been so much fun to be on this journey with you, with you in the lead.

    As for the birth control — I’m glad you covered this b/c now I will be prepared for the same question from my OB. I honestly have no idea what to do here. My husband and I truly have no idea if and when we might think about another baby, since I’d need to first get through another IVF cycle (no frozen embies), then face the possibility of another complicated pregnancy. That said, if there is any chance under the sun that I might conceive naturally (which I highly doubt) during the fertile period postpartum, I’m not sure if I’d want to pass that up. And the other thing w/me is that I normally do not cycle at all on my own, so there’d be no way of knowing if I was pregnant or not…and frankly (selfishly?) I’m eager to get on with my life…after however long I breastfeed I want to drink wine and eat sushi and not worry. So I’m eager to hear what you/others decide to do. It sounds like you’re leaning toward not using anything, which I can definitely understand given your particular situation.

  7. lol. no one talked to me about it until after the babies were born. i remember telling the resident that i needed 6 IUIs and 2 IVFs to get pregnant in the first place.

    no one mentioned it again.

    until i brought it up at my 6 week follow up appointment. being home with the babies i started to get freaked out. if we *did* get pregnant again by ourselves…what would we do? how could we afford another kid right now? i wouldn’t be able to care for these twins AND be pregnant at the same time. it would be too much. etc. etc.

    so…we’re thinking of going the iud route for now. i can’t be trusted to take a pill every day. i can’t even be trusted to bathe every day! lol. i’m still nervous and may change my appointment….not sure yet.

    and holy crap! you’re term!! can’t wait to hear about the lil one!!

    xoxo

  8. We may use birth control for the first month we do it. Basically because I WANT SOME GIN and don’t drink while TTC. But just like you, I laughed hysterically at the doctor that brought up birth control. He said ” now just because it took you over three years to get pregnant this time, does not mean that will happen again.” And I said ” good, because that would save us an assload of money.” Yes, yes I did say “assload” to the doctor. hello, PCOS, plus crappy morphology= no baby. I told him I would be DELIGHTED to get pregnant right away. Please, and this was not even my real doctor. This was the guy who was checking Sea Monkey. Take a look at my file first, bucko. Then tell me how fertile I might be.

    We are only waiting till August to start trying again anyway, since I AM OLD. So five months. Then back on the horse.

  9. And also, Holeee Crap you are almost done! I put a link to the cat tent on my blog for you.


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