Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | October 6, 2009

home again

I’m finally back home. Well, I got back several days ago, but I have been completely exhausted and overwhelmed. The first week of my trip was fun and all about baby stuff – prenatal massage at the amazing spa my sister works at, baby shopping with my mom and sister, and the baby shower.

It was mostly great, but a bit much at times, since only a few people know about our infertility struggles. I got bombarded with questions about when we are going to have another one. Seriously? I haven’t even safely delivered this baby yet. It took us a year of fertility treatments, close to ten thousand dollars out of pocket, a miscarriage, and a miracle hail mary cycle. While I would love to have two kids, I have no idea if we will even have the strength to go through the treatments again. I found that I needed to retreat to a quiet, alone space a few times, so I could decompress and breathe.

The second week was very different. I extended my trip to help someone close to me through a very difficult time. It was a week filled with tears, regrets, pain, and trying to find a way to laugh in spite of the shit that life sometimes throws at you at the worst possible times. It’s so hard to see someone you love go through awful things. I wish I could take their pain away, but I can’t. All I could do was stick around for that extra week, listen, provide moral support, make runs to Starbucks for caffeine for everyone else, and try to do little thoughtful things. I didn’t actually DO anything to help the problem, but my presence was appreciated, and it was the least I could do.

I’m 28 weeks and 4 days pregnant today. Apparently I have slid into the third trimester now. Crazy. There are 80 days to go until the due date. For a long time I was waiting and waiting to drop below 100 days. It seemed to take forever. Now I’m a little freaked out about how quickly time is going by! There is still so much to do.

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Responses

  1. Welcome back Bird!

  2. Good to hear from you, I was worried that you were kidnapped by amish and forced to live without internet or something.

    Me and DH had a conversation about a second child the other day. I feel like our odds of having another child are pretty good, but when treatments are involved, it just takes things to another level and you get this “I can stop now” complex and it’s exhausting and intimidating just to tentatively think about. I’m afraid that if someone started asking me about #2 I’d slap them. (Do you think they’d charge a preggo with assault for slapping an idiot?)

  3. Welcome back 🙂 Can’t believe how far along you are now!

    Sorry they were asking inappropriate questions (I mean seriously, you haven’t even delivered this precious baby yet!)

  4. just finally catching up with everyone. i can’t believe how quickly things have gone! i’m so excited for you to be in the third trimester. it brings so many different feelings!

    here’s to an uneventful last 80 days! 🙂

    xoxo

  5. Welcome back! Sounds like you’ve had eventful weeks…honestly people really need to learn to stop asking so many questions! Sounds like you handled it with lots of grace, though. Congrats on crossing into the final stretch of pregnancy!


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