Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | August 4, 2009


So, ever since 16 weeks or so, I’ve been anticipating feeling movement any time now. I’ve felt little things here and there, but nothing that I could be SURE was baby Bird. I know there is a lot of variation in when women first feel movement (supposedly 16-22 weeks), but I can’t help but feel like I’m running behind. I’m nearly 20 weeks, and I’m not sure if I’m feeling the baby move or not. I’ve felt a few tap-tap-taps here and there, but that could have been intestinal rumblings. Last week I felt a strange rolling/somersaulty feeling, which I got all excited about, since it was a completely new feeling. I haven’t felt it since though. I want to feel this baby move! Everyone keeps telling me that I will feel reassured once I can feel the baby move regularly. I’m waiting, baby.

I have a confession to make. At nearly halfway through this pregnancy, I haven’t taken a single picture. I meant to start taking weekly pictures starting around 12 weeks, but just haven’t. I feel like a bad person. I keep telling S that we need to remember to take pictures on Friday, since Fridays are the start of a new week, but every time, we just forget or get sidetracked. This may well be the only pregnancy I get to experience, and I feel like I should be documenting it, but I haven’t been. I know it’s not too late to start, but now because I’ve been slacking, I have no “before” pictures to compare. I also haven’t been writing regularly in the journal I started. Bad, bad, bad.

Last night I got up to pee at 3:30 am, and I was starving. I couldn’t fall back to sleep so I got up and ate a granola bar and some strawberries, and took the opportunity to get caught up on some commenting. When I crawled back into bed around 5:00 am, I had the urge to wake S up and tell him that I am so happy. I didn’t want to disturb him though, so I didn’t.

Maybe it was the sudden increase in blood sugar, or the mixture of tiredness and restlessness, but I felt deliriously happy. It was one of those moments that I think I’ll remember for a long time. Then, as I was trying to fall back to sleep, the cat proceeded to make a bunch of horrible noises and then threw up. He was on our dresser. Both S and I flew out of bed to clean it up. I had visions of cat puke all over the place, but once we turned on the light, we found a tidy little pile. We cleaned it up and tried to comfort kitty and crawled back into bed. That’s when I sleepily told him “I’m so happy”. He was confused and asked “You are happy that our cat threw up in the middle of the night, waking us up?”Β  “No,” I said, “I’m happy to have you in my life, and the baby and the cats.” I’m sure he thought I was insane. I am trying to be appreciative of every day, and to savor every moment that I feel joy and contentment, and not focus so much on the fear and worry.



  1. That’s awesome, that definitely sounds like a night you’ll remember for a long time πŸ™‚

  2. My ob said that in first pregnancy’s it’s more likely that you won’t feel movement until 21/22 weeks. It made me a little sad that she said that, but oh well. It won’t be long until it’s kicking up a storm, keeping you up at night!

  3. bless your heart!

  4. I was the same way when waiting for the movement. I did not feel our little miracle until I was about 23 weeks. Since then she has been very active and it’s one of the most amazing feelings in the world. No need to worry, it will happen soon and then won’t stop πŸ™‚ lol

    I also rented a heart doppler so I could check in on her whenever I might be feeling a little like something isn’t right or she isn’t moving much today. Seriously, it is the best piece of mind in my day everyday. To hear her heartbeat and just know she is in there safe and sound is such a relief πŸ™‚

    Good luck and enjoy πŸ™‚

  5. Bird will starting beating on you soon! It will be great! You are nicer than I am, I have woken Mister up in the middle of the night for stuff like that.

  6. Thank you SO much for your comment. Each kind comment that is left for me takes away a little of the hurt they caused. And thanks for making me laugh today with your cat/middle of the night story. It sounds like something that would happen to us too. πŸ™‚

  7. I was JUST talking to my husband last night about how I haven’t taken any profile photos or really any photos…how I haven’t been keeping track of this pregnancy at all because I’ve been so focused on what might go wrong with it. We resolved to start taking photos…and maybe I will start a journal too. It all seems so…optimistic, but I guess there are enough facts at this point to support optimism so I should start trying to embrace it. I am sure you will start feeling movement soon, and what a huge relief and joy that will be! I totally hear you about feeling these moments of intense happiness…it’s like once your head gets out of the way for a minute you can really access that feeling of bliss. Hope you have many moments of that in the coming weeks!

  8. What a lovely post. I hope that baby gets just a bit bigger so you can feel him/her soon! That WILL be so reassuring. Glad to hear that you’re so happy. Makes me happy to read.


  9. I haven’t taken a single picture, and haven’t really noticed until I read your post. I hate the idea that I’m wishing this time away and just trying to get to the end. I want to enjoy every minute, but the fear still grips me.

  10. i didn’t feel any movement until 23 or 24 weeks. and then? i became obsessed with it. thinking that it had been days since i had felt anything and found myself a few times shoving handfuls of candy repeatedly in my mouth to try to stimulate some sort of sugar buzz to result in movement. i like to think that i’m less crazy now, but B would probably tell you that i am still whacked!

    we didn’t take any pics till about 18 wks. i was just too nervous before that. when i was pregnant 3 years ago i took pictures before, and then weekly up until 9 weeks when we found out about the molar pregnancy. i just kind of worried in my head that doing things too early would probably make things turn bad again. i think that we officially started b/c B was trying to prove to me that i actually looked pregnant. now, we just do it weekly. i didn’t start charting my weight until 25 wks.

    …it all makes me feel like i am not appreciative or something. which isn’t the case at all. i am just nervous. and i’m trying to enjoy it and not stress too much.

    it’s a wonderful time and i am glad that you are happy πŸ™‚ xoxo

  11. Bird, have you tried looking for a Jewish doula? Hannukah is WAY before Christmas this year. It starts on December 11th. That might help.

  12. I love this post! I love that you are so in love with your baby and your DH and your life! Even with the kitty gift! πŸ™‚

  13. you don’t need a prescription or approval from your doctor, you can just buy one. this is the one that myself and another girl on my blogroll got, it’s $89.95. the doctors don’t like you to get them because it can be difficult to find the heart beat and if you do find it they don’t alwys give the most accurate readings.|66:1|39:1|293:1|294

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