Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | May 28, 2009

the ob nurse intake appointment

Wow. I feel like I just spent several hours in an alternate universe. I waited in the giant ob office waiting room for 40 minutes, watching many, many pregnant women coming and going. I started counting and then got bored at 30. When I first got off the elevator, I felt sick to my stomach, then remembered oh yeah, I’m here because I’m pregnant too. It still does not feel real. I’m ten weeks tomorrow.

I waited for so long that I almost went and asked at the check in desk if they had forgotten about me, but I didn’t want to be a bother. Finally a kind looking gray haired lady called my name and we went back into a little office.

She took my history and was generally very nice. “So, is this a clomid baby?” she asked. I had to explain my whole infertility history. She had never heard of femara.  Her eyes got all wide when I explained our issues and how miraculous it is that this cycle worked at all. She was very nice, and was sympathetic about the previous miscarriage. She asked a million questions, and I answered them. I was hoping I could convince her to get me in to see my doctor early, but no such luck.

Apparently I am already slacking in the preparedness department.

“So, do you have a pediatrician yet?” she asked.

I said, “Oh god, should I? I’m not even entirely convinced this is really happening.”

Then she got all annoying and cheery on me. Think positive! Don’t give up! Everything will be fine! I wanted to smack her.

I was instructed to start interviewing pediatricians, sign up for childbirth classes, and tour the hospital. Like in the next week or two. It’s all very overwhelming and is triggering dead baby thoughts. I’m tempted to call up my RE and beg for another ultrasound to make sure it’s still there. The ob won’t see me for another two weeks.

Then she sent me down to the lab where they took eight (8!) vials of blood from me. I’ve never had that much blood taken, ever. I was half worried that I would pass out on the drive home.

Wow, I just realized how negative this whole post has been. I don’t really mean to be so negative. I’m just really worried, and I am not getting any reassurance. According to Nurse Blows Sunshine, I will get just one ultrasound, at 20 weeks. I told her that I want a NT scan, and she said I’d have to wait and talk to the doctor about it at 12 weeks. Maybe I should be looking for a different doctor.



  1. I so feel you. I could have written this post word for word. I feel like I’m being so negative too, but after 3 miscarriages and no babies it’s hard to put on that smile, you know? Hopefully, it will feel more ‘real’ as time goes on. Hugs to you!

  2. Craziness! We’re almost 20 weeks and I have YET to look into pediatricians and I haven’t even looked into the different classes. To be honest… I got a HUGE packet of information about 10 weeks ago and have yet to look at it. 😛

  3. Oh and my advice– look into other OBs! We were naturally nervous too (who wouldn’t be after the crazy IF ride??) and wanted a reassuring ultrasound and all that. Like you said, we just needed reassurance. Maybe not more than most, but we needed it. So we switched to a doctor who was SO understanding. She gave me a “reassurance” ultrasound early on and she always has the time to talk to me about issues and questions. (Well, she did before she went on maternity leave!)

  4. Oh gawd, I frickin hate obs. Pediatricians already, really? What about preschool? Hopefully your dr. won’t be a big of a moron as the nurse. (Never even heard of femara? perhaps she’s more familiar with aromatase inhibitor? hehe). Good for you for putting up with her questions and setting a good example of a knowledgeable and informed infertile.

  5. By the way, what the big deal with Pediatricians anyhow? All we ever had was a family doctor? Can’t they do the job too?

  6. Maybe it’s time to look for a different doctor. Why would they want you to look for a Pediatrician already, or to tour the hospital at only 10 weeks? It seems odd… then again, I’ve never made it that long… so what do I know?

    But, really, I think they should be more understanding to your situation, and if you want an u/s earlier then I don’t understand their issue… you’re paying, right?

    At the very least it won’t hurt to try and see about other Ob’s, right?

  7. Ugh, what a nightmare! After all that you have been through and a nurse that acts that way! I mean, can’t she just let you get through the first trimester and then let you worry about pediatricians and classes?

    I don’t know or understand OBs or their nurses. I hope you figure out what is best for you!

  8. I just may look for a different doctor, but in my experience so far, it is good to wait and talk to the OB . You may want to look into the NT scan, because that has to be scheduled at 12 weeks. The nurse should have known that and helped you set it up. I know it is hard to “be positive”, you’ll get there when you’re ready. I am happy to read that things are progressing for you! Today I am 11 weeks 5 days with twins. I have had more US than normal but only because I had major bleeding in my 8th week. I just try to set my mind on the things that I am hoping for, and that does help alleviate some of the tendency to worry. Hang in there.

  9. Look into another doctor. i haven’t even looked at the packet they gave me on registering with the hospital. Like you, I had that, “dead baby” issue. What if?????? I keep feeling like I’ll jinx it! But like the PP says, you will get to “Positive” when you are ready! Hang in there, it gets better!

  10. Gee, while you’re at it, why don’t you download applications to Harvard and Princeton and get a real jump on things?? That nurse sounds like a nutter. I think you should look into other OBs if that will make you more comfortable — it certainly sounds like you could find someone more familiar with the horrors of IF and the need for extra reassurance. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling negative — what you feel is 100% normal given when you’ve been through. Hang in there!

  11. Babe you should talk to some other obs. I do not think they are going to treat you with the extra care you need.

    Does your RE suggest anyone? Or could you call a high risk ob and ask if they could suggest anyone? I have been looking for an ob in my area for weeks now, even though I am nowhere near needing one. I just KNOW I am going to need someone who understands that I WILL call everydamnday . I don’t care if they think I am a pain in the ass or not. Maybe call a birthing center?

  12. Also, a doula may know some good obs.

  13. i think that the nurse is a tool…but that your OB may be more willing to work with you. i’m considered high risk b/c of the IF and twins and cancer and whatnot. i told the nurse at my intake that i didn’t want to see the NP, only the OB and she told me that was not possible: they rotate. I asked the OB about it and she said, “no way. i would NEVER have you see the NP. don’t worry about it.” so…if i have questions, i email her directly now. 🙂

    also..the NT scan can be done b/t 11 and 13 wks. if you see your OB at 12 you can get it that week or the next!

    and…fyi: you’re pregnant. somehow it’s easy for me to tell you, but i still don’t belive i am and it’s 18 wks. yikes.

  14. I have been following your blog for a few months now. It seems like we have been going through very similiar situations. I am 11 weeks now, after having dealt with crappy morphology, several IUIs, clomid, AND a misdiagnosed blighted ovum with this pregnancy. I am totally having a hard time thinking this is real also. Your posts REALLY hit my thoughts and feelings right on!

    Anyway, I would seriously look into other OBs!!! I switched over to my regular one right after my RE’s office misdiagnosed a m/c (they told me they just saw an empty sac at 6 weeks and scheduled a D&C and then the next day I went to my OB and she found the baby right away). I have been going to my regular OB every week for an u/s b/c she is so understanding of my nervousness and told me to come in as often as I need to. The whole office has been awesome. Also, that first trimester screen needs to be done btw 11-13 weeks and if you won’t even see your doc until 12 weeks what if they can’t squeeze you in for an apt in time? I would expect more out of their office and if I were you I’d make some calls and see if you can find someone else.

    Don’t worry about pediatricians and hospital tours! That is insane. This is my 2nd baby (god willing) and with my first I didn’t do all of that stuff until the last couple months of my pregnancy.

    Anyway, I just wanted to pipe in and tell you how much your posts reflect everything I am going through also. Its like we are long lost infertility twins. Hang in there!!!

  15. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail.

    I’ve got some ideas for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it expand over time.

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