Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | April 11, 2009

infertility hurts everyone

I’m watching this show on infertility on the Science Channel. This girl just got a bfn after her only chance at an IUI. I’m crying for her.

She’s an endangered Northern White Rhino. There are only a few left in the world.

There are only two females in captivity, a mother and daughter. They did an IUI on the daughter with sperm collected from the only male in captivity. He died a few days later. Then she got her bfn. It is heartbreaking. For them, it is literally the end of their species. Not just the end of their family, but their entire fucking species.

I suppose our situation could be a lot worse.

I haven’t been obsessing this two week wait because I have little hope for this cycle, but since I’m 8dpo, I can’t help but be a little curious. I buried the hope, but it’s still there, a little bit. The bbs are not sore at all this time. Not one bit, which is weird, and makes me have a bit less hope. I’ve had cramping and a backache for a few days. I bought a three pack of Target test. I think I may test at 12 dpo. I did keep temping, but I’m not being crazy about it. The less hope I have, the less devastating it will be when AF starts.



  1. That is really sad. Sometimes I definitely feel like that rhino…I can relate.

    I think it’s totally normal to tell yourself you don’t have hope but truly do have a bit — if part of us didn’t think it would work why would we put ourselves through this hell? I just keep telling myself that I’m doing everything under the sun to get pregnant but the rest is out of my hands. I hope this is the cycle for you, though, and that you can finally stop waiting and testing and agonizing over symptoms!

  2. Oh man, I can’t watch that stuff, it kills me too.

    Protect yourself as much as you need but it never seems like there is enough bubble wrap to protect your heart. I don’t want to blow sunshine up your ass, but I still hope that femara did something special.

  3. Thinking of you.

  4. (((HUGS)))

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