Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | April 2, 2009

back home

I’m sorry for falling off the face of the earth. After my last post, I caught the cold from hell. I was so sick that I could barely use the internets. I love the internets almost as much as my cats or my husband, so that means I was really sick.

Then S and I went away for a vacation he planned at the last minute. We went to an island in the Carribean for 5 days, and it was a wonderful, much needed break from that bitch, Reality. Still, I can’t help but think of it as a consolation prize. No baby after a year and $6,000 at the RE? Yeah, no baby for you, but you can spend some time on a sunny, warm island instead. It was a lovely trip, and it gave S and I a chance to do something other than focus on treatments, but I’d still rather have been pregnant at home, where spring is trying to start but taking her sweet time.

I did take advantage of my empty uterus status over the past few weeks and drank some deliciously tropical rum drinks and took Nyquil, Advil or Excedrin whenever I wanted. I did not, however, get to lay out by the pool or beach. My husband is the kind of guy that cannot sit still, even on vacation, so this was a moderate adventure type of vacation. We did sleep in a lot, but we mostly drove around, hiked around, went places, saw historical and scientific things, and walked on the beach. It was great, but it was not your typical lay on the beach and drink pina coladas tropical vacation.

I’m back now, and with the help of two cats on my lap, I am nearly caught up on my Google Reader. I feel like such an asshole for totally slacking on IComLeavWe. Every month I make a spreadsheet and faithfully track all of my comments and make sure I get in more than my required number. This time I completely failed. I apologize to all of you who left comments here and got none from me, either due to my Nyquil induced haze or my trip out of the country. I will make it up somehow.

I took Femara days 3-7 this cycle. I peed on ovulation predictor sticks while we were gone and got no postitives. It’s cd 15 today, and I called the clinic to see if I could get some monitoring and a trigger now that we are home. I ovulated late on clomid, and I don’t even know if Femara is going to make me ovulate, but it was better than doing nothing.  After trying to explain things to a confused receptionist, she transferred me to a nurse, who seemed to think I probably already ovulated. “Well, you can come in for an ultrasound, but you may have already ovulated. It’s a little late,” she said.  I patiently explained that I ovulate late on clomid (cd 20-22), my temps are still low, I’ve had negative opks, and I might not even ovulate without a trigger shot. I have the ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow morning. Best case scenario is that I have a juicy follicle ripening, I can trigger and get an IUI and a chance this cycle. Worst case is that I won’t ovulate and will have to start provera. The good thing is that I almost don’t care anymore.

I still don’t know what our plan will be past this month. Some days I think we should do another couple of injectable and IUI cycles and insist on better timing and bigger follicles. Other days I get all reckless and think fuck it, let’s do IVF. Let’s find a way to pay for it and just do it. So what if we could keep trying less invasive, less expensive things, let’s go for the big guns with the big success rates. Other days I start to think maybe it would be okay to be childfree. Especially the days we’ve spent lately in airports with screaming children.

There were so many great comments and questions on my previous post about the RE appointment. I’ll try to address some of them next time. I missed you guys. I’m glad to be home.



  1. arg. i hate when they try to explain that you’ve probably already ovulated. *just* b/c you are around cycle day 15. i always ovulated late, IF i ovulated at all….meds or not! i know that they hate BBT charting, but it provides info…and if you never got a positive OPK. come on!!! i hope you have a juicy one ready to go 🙂

    glad you’re back. i was worried.

  2. I’m glad you enjoyed your vacation. I am like your husband…I hate sitting around. It drives my husband nuts.

  3. Glad to see you back and hear that you had a good vacation… we all need one of those every once and a while and if I didn’t use all my vacation and money on IF I would be sipping rum out of a coconut right now too.

    I hope your u/s goes well today. If you do decide to stay with injectables and IUI I definitely think you should become the Infertile from Hell if your clinic doesn’t listen to your requests for more mature follicles and better timing.

  4. I am glad you are home. Your vacay sounded wonderful!

  5. That’s great that you took a vacation. I bet you really needed it. Glad you are back though.

  6. Welcome home!! So glad you had a vacation, even if you didn’t get to sit on the beach. Thinking of you as you figure out next steps…

  7. I’m glad you had a nice vacation. I wish I was drinking some rum right now – grrrrrrr! Why is it that most people get knocked up while intoxicated and I can’t even have ONE drink per my acupuncturist??? It really pisses me off!

    Your flip flop of emotions (live childfree, go for IVF, etc) is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. I’m almost ready to get off this rollercoaster!

  8. Sorry to hear about your cold. The vacay sounds pretty sweet though! i want some rum…

    Yeah, i’d have to say i’d be calling the RE’s office until they start doing what you want. It’s your $ and time.

    I hope you have some nice, ripe follies tomorrow!!

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