Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | March 13, 2009

10 dpo

I really have nothing new or exciting to report. The swelling and bloating is starting to get a bit better. I’m not constantly wincing anymore. I still have the sore bbs, but a little less so than a few days ago. I have a  backache, fatigue, occasional cramps, dizziness, and some stomach weirdness. Again, nothing that can’t be explained away by the prometrium.

Now I have the decision of when to test. Well, to be honest, I did test this morning, and it was negative of course. I know, I know, it’s only 10 dpo, but I just had to do it. I have quite the stockpile of home pregnancy tests:-4 generic Target tests (the kind that I got my first ever bfp on, so I’ve kept buying them since I have the irrational belief that they are somehow lucky), 3 Clearblue Easy digitals, 3 FRER, and 1 FR digital (the yes/no kind). I have 11 pee sticks just waiting to be peed on. I guess at least I know for sure that the trigger is out of my system.

I am resolving now that I will not test again until Monday, which will be 13 dpo. I can’t get a beta over the weekend anyway, and I need to not be crazy about this.

I do have to say though that I’m not feeling very optimistic. I’m not quite sure why, but I feel like I’m out this cycle. I think it’s partly because I want it so badly that I figure that it can’t possibly happen. There have been a lot of bfps lately, and that bfp trend can’t possibly keep continuing. We can’t all get pregnant this cycle.

I don’t want to get all worked up and stressed out about the next step before this is even over, but I do want a backup plan. Do we keep throwing money into the pit of injectables and IUI? We’ve done 3 now, with not ideal stimulation and timing. The first one worked but I miscarried. The second one I felt was rushed due to their Christmas holiday closure, and I only had one 14mm follicle. This last one we don’t know the results yet, but the lead follicles were small at trigger (14 and 16mm). Maybe I’m grasping, but I don’t think we have had the best chances with the three cycles we have done.

Do we beg, borrow, or steal to make IVF possible? I’m so tired. I know we haven’t exhausted treatment options yet, but I don’t see how we can come up with 12k for IVF.

Either way, I’m sure I’ll have to sit the next cycle out due to cysts. There is no way all of those smaller 10-11mm follicles will have all gone away. We probably won’t be able to do another cycle until May. This is so discouraging.

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Responses

  1. I’m going to be the little devil on your shoulder and say to test before Monday. Of course, that’s up to you, but I’m a POAS-addict (am? was?).

    I wish you all the best. Don’t count yourself out of it yet.

  2. I hope Monday brings some joy…

    my RE said she wouldn’t do an IUI unless the follicles were around 18mm, 17mm at the smallest, but i haven’t even done one yet so i don’t know?

  3. Mmmm. Have you filed your tax return yet? I mean it would not be 12 grand but it would be a starting place.

    Every one I know has gotten a larger tax return than anticipated.

    If I were you I think I would stack the odds with IUI while saving for IVF/deciding if I would like to pursue adoption.

  4. I know what you mean about feeling like the cycle can’t work cause you want it too bad, but that of course doesn’t mean you don’t have a shot this cycle.

    12 grand is A LOT. I’m sure that if you want to do it you will be able to find a way to make it happen. Plus, there is always the femera waiting for you if you want to do a cheaper cycle in the meanwhile… it might work, and if it doesn’t you weren’t expecting it to and you could save a lot on meds and u/s if you didn’t do much monitoring.

    I would hold off testing if you can till at least 12dpo if you can make it.

  5. (*hugs*) I am still holding on to hope for you this cycle. Hang in there.

  6. I am staying positive for you for this cycle. don’t count your self out yet!

    As for the what if…..three IUI cycles just about equals the cost of IVF. If it hasn’t worked after the 3rd try, move on. Just my opinion though. Mine and the RE I work for.

  7. I’m thinking that maybe small follies are lucky.

    I really, really, really want this to be your cycle. I think you should wait until Monday to test….testing early and getting negatives is depressing….even when you know it is too soon.

  8. i’m still hopefull about this cycle 😉 thinking lots about you and hoping monday has happy news!

    xx

  9. I think the really good news is that you were able to get pg from an IUI. From what I understand you either will or you won’t — and if you do I think it’s a pretty good sign that it could happen again. Through IVF I learned that we pretty much could’ve done IUIs until the end of time and it wouldn’t have worked…it takes a lot of eggs with me. But again clearly this is not your issue at all…anyway I truly hope you get good news next week and the question of IVF becomes a moot point!

  10. A good friend of mine (an IF who DID conceive) reminded me once that there is no set number of pregnancies that can occur in a cycle. Just because my SIL, friend, and friend’s sister got pregnant, doesn’t mean I can’t. Even though it feels like the universe is f**king us over, it really isn’t. All of this is so random, which is probably what is the most frustrating. If there was just a way to control it, I’m sure we’d all be on that by now. I’m thinking of you and hoping that you get your happy ending soon.

    As far as a backup plan – I don’t presume to know what is best for you. I did 3 IUIs with Clomid and 1 IUI with injectibles – all BFNs. We moved on to IVF because my DH’s sperm count is low and it’s been quite a journey. Whatever you decide, good luck. And hopefully this will be IT for you, so your backup plan can just fade away…


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