Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | February 25, 2009

vision board

It amazes me how quickly a new cycle gets going. It’s CD 7. I’ve been doing the Follistim injections and I hope some follicles are developing. I won’t know what on earth my wacky ovaries are up to until Friday’s ultrasound and bloodwork. I do feel different this cycle, and not in a good way. I’m cranky. Irritable. Bitchy. I’ve been snappy at S, and almost unable to control it. I’ve also had some EWCM already, which is weird. I mean, I rarely get it at the appropriate time, and getting it quite early? I guess I’m hoping that means some follicles are growing. I hope that we can do the IUI early next week so we won’t have to rely on frozen sperm.

Yesterday I used another one of the massage gift certificates that my in laws gave me for Christmas. It was lovely. The room is always so nice and warm. We keep our house cold (64-65 degrees), so at first, walking into her hot massage room was overwhelming, but soon I was able to close my eyes and imagine that I was lying on a beach in the sun. The massage therapist is very sweet. Someone she knows went through IVF, so she is fairly knowledgeable about the process. She suggested I make some type of vision board with pictures of babies and pregnant women, like if I visualize it enough, it will happen. I’m not sure what I think about that. On one hand it’s a nice, harmless idea. On the other hand, I’m a little insulted, like oh, you mean I’ve been paying thousands and thousands of dollars to my RE and the specialty pharmacy, injecting myself with hormones, and getting vaginal ultrasounds, and all I need to do to get pregnant is buy a glue stick and some posterboard? Do any of you have any thoughts about this? I mean, it can’t hurt, but I’m not exactly excited about going and buying a pregnancy magazine to cut pictures out of. That might just kill me.

I was reminded today that time is running out for a 2009 baby. Do any of you think, worry or stress about this? I’d really like the tax deduction. Several months ago, I was mildly concerned that if I got pregnant, I’d be near full term in the hottest, most miserable, humid time of the year. Now if I conceive this cycle, I’ll be having a baby in the snowy winter. Ugh. The seasons change so quickly and the years go by so fast. It’s been nearly a year since my first clomid experience. Oh how naive I was then. I believed my ob/gyn who told me I’d be pregnant within six months. Ha.

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Responses

  1. Right on the same. Oh, how naive I was too. And hopeful. Now I’m just rather pissed off.

    I’m working on my CPA and have also thought about that tax deduction slipping away, lol.

  2. i think the vision board is a nice idea if you’re in the mind set for it and you think it will help you.

    i shift between realism and optimism, so one day i might say oh that’d be nice and then the next day it’d just be another reminder that i’m not pg.

    I hope this cycle brings you that tax deduction 😉

  3. Hmmm… vision board… I kinda think it’s enough that I feel surrounded by pregnant women and adorable babies that aren’t mine all the time, so why would I want to cut and paste even more? Today isn’t probably a good day for me to answer that question. By the way, today it was really nice outside so everyone with a baby got out the stroller and took their kids out. It made me a little sick.

    I have been trying to act a bit as if I’m pregnant… mostly in watching what I eat and take as if I were pregnant (which isn’t a huge change from what I was already doing). The surprising part was that somehow I lost quite a few lbs doing that… so even if I didn’t get pregnant, I’ve been making healthier choices. At least I can feel good about that.

    Thanks for your comment today. I really appreciated what you had today. I’ve been wondering if I could get the hsg while I was under too. I’ll have to ask, but something tells me I might not be that lucky.

  4. I’ve had people tell me I need to visualise having a baby as well. It’s like, what the hell did you think I did all through the first year? I planned, visualised, gee I thought i practically had a baby. But nope, no difference.

    I just to think that I didn’t want a December/January baby because its bday would be so close to Christmas. Honestly I dont care anymore, I will be thrilled to have a baby any day of the year!

  5. A vision board sounds like something Oprah once suggested. Heck, it can’t hurt to try!!!

  6. I am not a vision board kind of girl. Ick.

    In crazier moments I have tried to will the egg and sperm to meet and divide and implant.

  7. I guess the vision board is a good idea…in theory. However, for jaded bitter infertile women who would rather walk barefoot over hot coals than look at ANOTHER picture of a cherubic towheaded baby…might not be the best thing. LOL

    Seriously though, if you think it would help you focus in some way, possibly redirect your energy and the like, I think an internal vision board is just as useful. Take a few minutes out of every day to sit in the peace and quiet and visualize in your mind your baby, you with your baby, yourself pregnant…etc. I wouldn’t want a physical vision board in my house…unless I could use all those pictures of the preggos as dart practice when my cycle fails! (keep in mind this comes from the crazy lady that sings songs to her husband’s sperm after sex!) 🙂

    Glad you had a good massage, I love massages!!!

    ICLW

  8. I always get EWCM early when I am on Follistim. I’m not really sure why, but the last two cycles it freaked me out, because I thought I would ovulate too early.

    I’m not sure if I could do a vision board. I know it’s all about the power of positive thinking, but that sounds kind of depressing to me.

  9. i think that if you can stand a vision board it shouldn’t hurt. me? i’m not sure i could handle looking at it. but i’m a baby.

  10. I too am obsessing over the fact that time is running out for a 2009 baby. I am supposed to be on a self imposed break, but I can’t help myself. I actually found myself today calculating what I would have to ovulate, have a period etc to get pregnant in November(turkey baby) or December(christmas baby.) Ummm yeah. I don’t know about the vision board. But hey, I tell my IUI patients at work to visualize everyday. It should work for me too huh?

  11. I hear you about focusing on a 2009 baby. I was figuring out my cycle pattern for the next month or so… If we are successful this next cycle then being pregnant could put our oft-delayed honeymoon at risk, but if we aren’t successful, then the EDD based on the next cycle would put me into 2010. *sigh* There’s just no pleasing some people (meaning me of course) is there?
    ICLW

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