Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | February 24, 2009

fights over a cat house

Yesterday I did call the RE’s office and left a message for the nurses about the follistim dose question and asking about sperm freezing. Of course, when the nurse called back, I was in the basement doing laundry and didn’t hear the phone ring. The nurse who left the message was the one who gave me the news about the miscarriage in December. I’ve never met her, but she seems nice enough. She said that yes, she does see in my chart where the RE had written up the change in protocol. She said I could follow the doctor’s protocol if I wanted instead of the one the other nurse gave me last Friday. How nice of her! I almost felt like calling her back and saying “Oh, well I think I’ll stick with the protocol the nurse made up off the top of her head without referring to the doctor’s note in my chart, the one that’s the same as my last couple of shitty cycles, because really, why would I want this to work?! It’s only costs a few thousand dollars a cycle, and so what if I don’t get pregnant!”  Perhaps the Follistim is amplifying the sarcastic bitch side of me.

*The rest of this post is not fertility related at all, so feel free to skip it if you wish. I just need to vent about a fight I had with S.

Our kitty is doing a little better after being on a bunch of medications for the past 5 days. The vet called today and they were not able to culture any bacteria from his urine, so he thinks kitty has interstitial cystitis, basically a tendency for painful bladder irritation problems that can be brought on or agitated by stress in the environment. S and I had a huge fight about this last night.

About a week ago, my father in law told us that another relative with cats had a cat play structure that their cats ignored and they wanted to get rid of it. They asked if we wanted it for our cats, and we said sure, we have an active kitten, it can’t hurt to have more places for him to climb (instead of our furniture). They brought it over, and three days later, our older kitty gets sick with this bladder problem.

Our big kitty is a sensitive cat. He has had numerous health problems, starting with chronic ear infections (including a burst eardrum), food and pollen allergies that he is on special food and medicine for, and recently, a urinary blockage and now this interstitial cystitis. The problem that started last week wasn’t a blockage, but is a severe, painful irritation of the bladder that can be brought on by stress. It took me a few days to make the connection, but the only change in the house has been the addition of this cat play structure. Big kitty was obsessed with it for those few days we had it upstairs. He wouldn’t stop smelling it (because it smelled like strange cats), kept sitting near it, and just generally acting strangely. When I brought him home from the vet on Thursday, he wouldn’t leave it alone. He wouldn’t sleep in his normal spots, he was agitated and unsettled. It finally occurred to me that hmm, maybe he was really stressed by the new structure and smells and that brought this on? I made S put it in the basement.

S thinks I’m completely insane thinking that the hand me down, smells-like-other-cats play structure made big kitty sick. I’m not convinced that’s what did it, but if it had ANYTHING to do with stressing kitty out, I want it out of the house. I think S is worried that his dad and the relatives will be offended if we get rid of it. I don’t fucking care. Our cat was miserable and in a lot of pain, and I would feel so awful if we brought it back upstairs and it caused another flare up. S made fun of me and started saying well we sure as hell shouldn’t have a baby, because that might stress the cat out. Well, in my mind a baby is a lot different from a crappy plastic cat condo. If bringing home a baby causes a flare up of his bladder problems, we will deal with that and try to minimize the impact on the kitty. But the used cat playhouse, we can easily remove from the house.

What bothered me was how much S went on and on about it. He was a complete asshole, and I told him so. I started crying, I told him that I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and finally I had to yell “SHUT UP!” because he wouldn’t let it go. I almost threw something I was holding because I was so angry, but I didn’t. I don’t like yelling. I don’t like conflict. We can normally work things out without resorting to childish behavior and yelling. Is this a sign of things to come? Is it the hormones? Follistim generally made me feel pretty good the last two injectable cycles. I had fewer headaches, none of the weird clomid side effects, and I felt fairly normal. I don’t think I can blame it on the medicines. I think all the stress of infertility is taking its toll on us. Maybe I am being crazy to want to get rid of the cat house, but why did he have to be such an asshole about it? Why does it even matter to him? He did apologize later and things are okay now. It just worries me that we even had this stupid fight.



  1. “well we sure as hell shouldn’t have a baby, because that might stress the cat out”
    Oh no he didn’t say that, cause he should be dead then!

    I think you might be on to something about the cat house. Cats are funny like that and get very attached to objects and upset by changes to their environments.

    It is a stupid thing to fight about, but life is filled with those fights. Maybe the stress of all of this is getting to your DH more than he lets on. Hopefully you can move past this quickly.

  2. I’m glad you called called the RE to straighten out your protocol. It always irks me to have to talk to the nurses at the clinic as they always try to practice medicine and don’t have a clue.

    The cat playhouse probably did stress out the kitty – you are probably spot on with that and your hubby should be thanking you for making the connection! I think that the stress of IF colors all aspects of our lives and magnifies the little things into bigger things. As long as you both stay aware of that and come together after a fight to talk about it things should be okay.

    Good luck and stay strong!

  3. Glad you got the go-ahead on the higher dosing, and sorry you and DH had a fight. Men can be such poo poo heads sometimes. I say make him sleep downstairs with the cat playhouse…that will teach him!


  4. 😦 good news about the schedule and dosing. so sorry to hear about the the kitty and the fight. arg.

  5. I also think you might be on to something about the kitty house.
    About the fight…could be the follitism, could be, um, the STRESS?!?!?!? I’m glad he apologized. Your body is going through a lot right now.

  6. I’m glad that you called and they are switching up the protocol. I like how she offers it as a choice, “You could follow this one instead….if you want.” Arg.

    I’m sorry about the fight. I swear the second cycle I was on follistim, I was super irritable. Maybe my husband was just being irritating though. It’s hard to tell 🙂

  7. hey—don’t worry about the crazy that follistim brings out in us. 🙂 Just another joy of the infertile life—floating along with ya, dear! 🙂

    and i love that you blog about your cats! We have 2 cats (and a crazy dog!) and they’re the light of my day!! Im sorry older kitty isn’t doing so hot right now, though! Thinking about him!!

    Laura 🙂


  8. WTF — what is with these nurses? I swear, we all need full-time infertility assistants to stay on top of everything and make sure everyone is doing his/her job. Good for you for catching that issue — truly hope it pays off!

  9. I also think you’re right about the structure. Cats are weird that way. If I bring anything home that has come from a house of cats, they can go a little cukoo over it. I can only image Big Kitty with sensitive issues putting him over the edge.

    Sorry, about the fight. I hope everything goes well this cycle.

  10. He is lucky that you did not brain him. I am the wrong person to go to when asking if something is crazy in regards cats.

    I won’t even consider co-sleeping because under no circumstances would I ever kick Thunder out of bed. We won’t even go on vacation because the cats get too lonely.

    Maybe you could lock the condo away and fumigate it?

  11. Visiting from ICLW!

    Isn’t it frustrating when the RE’s office can’t get their act together? I read your post about cysts. I’ve been struggling with a big one too that had me sidelined for almost 2 months. It’s so infuriating! My doc let me go ahead, even with the cyst this cycle too…I was surprised to find that in the ovary WITH the cyst, I have my two lead follies. Who knew?

    Good luck this cycle!!!

    Eve (

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