Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | January 18, 2009

what a bargain

I was joking with S the other night that at least we won’t have to spend a couple thousand bucks this cycle. Is it sad that I went to the store and spent $60 on two packages of the smiley face ovulation predictors and I feel like that was a bargain? Sixty bucks for two weeks worth of ovulation pee sticks. That’s not even half the cost of one ultrasound visit! Of course, I will probably not get to see one damn smiley face, and this cycle will be anovulatory and I’ll have to take provera and end up wasting eight weeks before starting injectables again. At the store, I saw a lady with a one year old and a huge pregnant belly. It made me want to vomit. Then I thought, maybe she was babysitting someone else’s kid, or maybe she had the first one through IVF and got a miracle accident second baby. No, I reasoned, she’s probably just another one of those midwestern baby machines.

I’m clearly having a hard time with this wasted cycle. I don’t even know what to do with myself. Even though the November and December cycles didn’t end up with us getting pregnant and staying that way, at least it felt like we were doing something. It felt like progress. I had hope. These injectables cycles are so damn labor intensive, what with remembering to do the shots at the right time, all the appointments and the blood draws, that I feel completely lost this month. I should be on my fourth night of shots. I was hoping it would feel sort of nice to have a break, but I just don’t know what to do. I’m even angrier than I was before. Forget hoping for a surprise bfp this month, I just want to ovulate and get a period on time so I can start shooting up again!

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Responses

  1. Breaks are the worst! Here’s hoping you ovulate this month and get a bfp. Barring that, here’s hoping the time passes quickly so that you can cycle again.

    Mo

  2. I hated my break cycle last month. Hope it goes fast for ya, and maybe you’ll get some random fluke ovulation. You never know.

  3. The whole thing is sucking. We need icecream. NO, we need mudslides.

  4. Well, after taking the prometrium to induce a flow and failing to get my cyst resolved in Dec, and getting another “rest” in Jan., I decided I was maybe too hasty with the induction of the first flow. I have since learned that cysts pretty much take 4-6 weeks to resolve and I probably didn’t give my body long enough… if I would have just waited a little longer to induce I might have actually been back cycling sooner. Ironic, no?

    So even though the forced break really, really sucks a big one, you might benefit by letting you rest linger a little longer to make sure you get rid of those cysts, if you end up having to induce a flow. Also, would it be possible to time your flow induction to meet up with a good cycle schedule to avoid S’s business trip?

    Just thinking. And if I sound a little nuts, I’m going to blame the forced break for driving me mad.

  5. i hate the breaks when i feel like i am just waiting… 😦

  6. I’m so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. The rest cycles feel like the only last thing we had control over is gone. I just hate that. I hope it gets better for you. I’m thinking of you!! *hugs*


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