Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | December 18, 2008

hanging in there

I’m sorry I haven’t been commenting much the past week. I hope to catch up on my blog reading soon. I just counted and I have 56 blogs that I subscribe to through Google Reader! Wow. 47 of them are infertility blogs. Luckily, not everyone posts all the time, but it’s still a lot to keep up with, especially if you get behind by a couple of days. That could be a full time job.

The past few days, in addition to the bleeding and cramping, I’ve had headaches and some nausea. The bleeding is starting to get lighter, and the cramping is not as bad as it had been. S got home from his business trip yesterday afternoon, which was good. He can somehow always find a way to make me laugh, even when going through something like this. I feel very lucky to have married such a great man. Is it strange that I can’t wait to have sex with him? I ‘m still bleeding from my miscarriage and all I can think about is sex. I did not expect that! Sex with any bleeding down there is not something we do, so it will probably be a few more days.

I took my first follistim shot of this cycle last night. I resisted the urge to dial the dose a notch or two higher than instructed. It was difficult. I really want a good response this cycle. I should definitely have insisted to meet with the RE himself, but now I’m kind of losing my nerve. I hate that I can be really assertive sometimes and other times I back down. I just can’t find the energy to make the phone call and have to build up the nerve to be bitchy if  I need to be. I feel tired and fragile.


  1. The sex thing… I wanted that badly with my miscarriage. I’ve heard of a lot of woman feeling the same way too. I think what it is, is that we desire not just the act of sex, but rather that intimacy.

    I’m glad you got to go ahead and start the follistim. Best wishes hun.

  2. I know I’m a sort of new reader, so forgive me if I’m out of line, but you need to meet w/ your RE!! And it’s not you being assertive or bitchy to meet with the doctor you hired, it’s just meeting with the person you hired to do a job for you. We don’t pay thousands and thousands of dollars to a nurse…it goes to a doctor, and if you have any questions about your treatment, he should want to talk to you about it, and if he doesn’t, you need a new doctor (says the reader who went through REs like water!). Good luck!!!

  3. I totally understand that feeling of wanting to get what you want but being too exhausted to be “that patient” that day…I always feel like there is a fine line between being assertive and making them think you’re a big PITA who makes their jobs difficult (and, therefore, they’re less inclined to help). Anyway, I just want to give you major kudos for getting back in the saddle so quickly. I still haven’t actually had my miscarriage yet, so maybe I will feel differently after it happens, but from where I’m sitting waiting for it I’m so exhausted I don’t know when I will feel like doing this process again. We infertiles are so brave and I just wanted to remind you of that — I am impressed. I wish for you a perfect cycle with lots of follicles and another BFP — this time, one that sticks around.

  4. Be gentle with yourself right now. I think it’s okay if you don’t have the energy to have that fight right now.

    I always want to dial the follistim up a bit. I just want to see some major results. It’s so expensive….I want a basket full of eggs.

  5. I am glad you are hanging in booboo. Could you maybe have your husband call the RE’s office?

  6. I’ve had the headaches and nausea as well, its sucks big time. Am glad that your hubby is home, that support helps a lot.

  7. Thinking of you today!!

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