Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | December 11, 2008

trying not to freak out

I’ve spent far too much time on the google today searching for low beta stories and I’ve worked myself up into a tizzy. It seems like there are 5 stories of healthy pregnancies and like 95 million stories of eventual miscarriage with betas as low as mine. Late implantation is associated with high rates of miscarriage, chemical pregnancies, and ectopics. On the other hand, this chart on betabase.info shows that on 15dpo, beta values for successful single pregnancies range from 3 – 2088, with a median of 135.  My 20 is still pretty fucking low. Of course, I never even thought I would get this far. I’m certainly lazy, as is my husband, so it would be perfectly appropriate for our embryo to take it’s sweet time implanting.

I feel like I should be happy, but I’m in some kind of in between hell where I don’t know how to stay sane while I wait for the second beta tomorrow. I want to be happy and enjoy the feeling of getting a positive, even if it is to be short lived, but I don’t want to get my hopes up and then be devastated.

I took three more tests this morning, because I’m crazy and wasteful like that. The Clearblue Easy digital was positive again (I’m starting to love those). The FRER was faintly positive – not really any darker than yesterday. The First Response Gold Digital was a NO -.  So based on that, I’m afraid that the hcg levels aren’t increasing rapidly. I know I have to wait for tomorrow’s beta to be sure, but I’m not really optimistic. If anyone has stories or examples of good outcomes with low betas, I’d love to hear them.

Thank you guys so much for all of your support.

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Responses

  1. Hun, step away from the peesticks! They won’t tell you anything at this point. They don’t tell quantity of HCG, but rather if there is some. When I had my m/c my HCG was at 691, and I was still getting faint positives… so I know that they don’t always get darker.

    Just try to wait for your appt. As I said, the HCG has to start somewhere… what really matters is that is doubles every 48 hours.

    Try to relax for now, enjoy the moment. I know, it’s easier said than done. But, just remember… you are pregnant for now. You’ll never get that first pregnancy, first week again, no matter what the outcome is. Try to savor it.

  2. Don’t you wish that you could just pretend that you were never an infertile girl and just be happy and not freak out?

    I agree with Stephanie, no more pee sticks. They are evil. 20 sounds like a fine number for this early. Maybe go see a movie or do some Christmas shopping to get your mind off of it for a while.

    I’m just still so excited for you! It’s going to double!!!

  3. doubledoubledoubledoubledouble

    No more peeing on plastic it will make you crazee. We are here for you.

  4. I’m sorry that you have to go through this. Another happy story for you though. My friend’s first beta was 15 and she went on to have a healthy baby girl nine months later. And she had a baby boy 15 months later! So, I am really hoping that this is the case for you! My fingers, toes and everything else is crossed for you!


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