Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | December 8, 2008

feeling sorry for myself

Yep, another big fat fucking negative. I know that it’s theoretically possible to get a positive later, but according to fertility friend, the average day to get a positive is 13.6 dpo. I’m 13 dpo, and I’m using FRER, so I would think that it would be positive by now if it was going to be. I am just waiting for the bleeding to start. It’s not going to be pretty. My lining has never been this thick, so I suspect it’s going to be a miserable period.

Of course, I’ve been in a bad place this morning. S asked if I wanted to meet him for lunch, and I initially said yes, but then called him a few hours later, telling him that I didn’t want to leave the house. My cats don’t like it so much when I cry. They look at me strangely. Our little cat actually looked at me and cocked his head to the side and crawled into my lap and looked up at me and blinked. I love him.

I’m sad and angry and so, so disappointed. I’m so tired of having to pick myself up off the floor every month. I guess the only good thing about a bfn is that you have to just jump right into the next cycle. Of course, if my period doesn’t start in the next day or so, it will make my IUI have to happen right around Christmas and knowing my RE, that will be a big problem. Then again, I have thought a lot about the idea of doing a Femara and timed intercourse cycle. There is that Femara voucher that is good through December 31st. I just wonder if I can get them to prescribe me 30 pills.

I called my RE’s office on Friday morning to get the results of the critical morphology, and those bitches haven’t called me back yet. For all the money we have given them, is it too much to ask for that they call me back with TEST RESULTS?  THAT WE PAID FOR. OUT OF POCKET.



  1. I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better. I am sad with you and for you.

  2. Oh, I love your little kitty too right now. Animals are the best… they usually don’t even mind when their fur gets wet from our tears.

  3. Suckity suck. I’m sad with you too.

    My little dog just gets freaked out when I cry and runs away. Some support she is….

  4. hugs hugs hugs hugs
    i’m so sorry..

  5. Damn. I’m so sorry. It’s such an awful thing to go through every month. I’m glad you have your kitties there with you. Mine are the best at comforting and cuddling.

    Hope you hear back from the RE soon. Take care.

  6. I’m sorry 😦 Big hugs.

  7. I am just checking in on you.

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