Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | November 21, 2008

Project Postive fails

I really tried to be positive this month, but it never seems to be good news with me. I had my ultrasound this morning with the bitchy nurse. My 12.5mm follicle on Wednesday has grown to a whopping 13. Woo hoo. (Can you sense my sarcasm and bitterness?). And that’s with almost doubling my follistim for the last two days. I have another one near 12, and some 10’s. The bitchy nurse doesn’t tell me anything. I had to pull teeth to get those numbers out of her. She didn’t say anything about my lining, and I stupidly forgot to ask. It was 10mm on Wednesday, so I wasn’t too worried about that. The worst thing was that the ultrasound HURT. Now, it’s never pleasant to have the dildo cam shoved up there, but it hasn’t ever really hurt. Before today. Today, she pushed the hell out of it, all around. When I nearly jumped off the table, all she said was “a little pressure now”. What the fuck? The nice nurse manages to find my ovaries without trying to spear them.

I’m supposed to increase the follistim to 150 IU tonight, Saturday, and Sunday, and then come back on Monday. What happens if that doesn’t do anything? What if they don’t grow at all? Am I a freak? I thought everyone would ovulate with the fancy, expensive follistim injections. I have PCOS and tons of antral follicles. All the doctors I’ve ever seen keep saying that we have to be careful because I may easily hyperstimulate. But no. The only thing I can think of is that with spraining my ankle and my migraine yesterday, could my body have been too stressed out to grow the follicles? I know it’s kind of out there, but I was in a lot of pain.

I know it’s not over yet, but I’m so disappointed right now. I’m going to have a difficult time being positive and hopeful over the weekend. I really hope I get the nice nurse on Monday.

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Responses

  1. Hi! I love meeting people from Michigan. Isn’t PCOS just soo much fun? Ya right! I have this same problem at me RE’s there is a good nurse and a nurse who is HORRIBLE. Actually it is the same with the DR’s my DR is AWESOME but his partner is th worst!

    I know it is so hard to be positive for yourself so I will be positive for you and keep my fingers and toes crossed. I hope everything works out well for you.

    Hopefully Michigan can pull a miracle this weekend but I doubt it.

  2. Oh sorry, I had to sign up for a word press so I could comment. This is Michelle from ToBabyandBeyond.blogspot.com.

  3. Hey, now at least they are getting bigger.

    mmm I had an ultrasound today too and she was talking to me while it felt like she was trying to turn my colon inside out. I was like HI? She said sometimes it’s hard to find my left ovary because it’s under the colon. (Which makes me think she can see if I have to poo-nice)

    I think you can safely give yourself a free pass today, you are broken and have to do laundry AND are hopped up on drugs. It is time for chocolate my friend.

  4. “Oh man, that sucks,” would be a huge understatement. Bitchy nurses, expensive injected meds, a twisted ankle, and PCOS is always a nasty bitch. I think it’s fair to say you’re having a bad week. It’s amazing that you have stayed as positive as you have so far.

    Keep a little hope, those suckers grow fast so you’re not out of it yet. I’m still pulling for you!

  5. this took so long to create a password i can’t remember what i was going to write 🙂

    you’re from MI?

    sorry your nurse is a meanie!

    i don’t think that you are on a big dose of follistim…it’s easier to take it slow and long than to have a cycle cancelled. 😦

    thanks for your comments! also: fyi i love the look of your blog!! (aprilbrokenbits@blogspot.com)

  6. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you – try to keep your positivity going!

    Oh, and happy belated birthday!

  7. Whew…..that’s quite a lot of hoops, WordPress….

    Thanks for stopping by, I think you and I are at pretty much the same place in this stinky journey 🙂

    Clom.id thinned my lining too, which is unfortunate as it is soooo much cheaper than Folli.stim. Seriously, for the price of that stuff, I want to be making six eggs a cycle….but no luck so far!!


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