Posted by: birdsandsquirrels | September 5, 2008

wasting more and more time

After not hearing back from my doctor a day and a half after they said they’d call, I called them and left a message asking for provera. The nurse called me back while we were at dinner and made an appointment for me to come in the next day to talk to the doctor. Why the fuck do I need to talk to the doctor. I know what is going on. There’s nothing to “discuss”. I’m so glad I went ahead and made the RE appointment. I debated calling back and canceling the appointment she made, because I really don’t want to waste another hour of driving and gas, an hour of waiting in pregnant lady hell, and the agitation of paying a $35 copay for NOTHING.

In the end, I decided to go. And it was almost as worthless as I was expecting. My doctor seems to think I’m a moron and told me things I already know. He won’t give me provera until I get to cd 35 with no period. I’m not going to get a period you morons – I am never going to ovulate! Even I understand that. So why wait two weeks for NOTHING.

I am so frustrated. I was hoping to get on provera so that I could be nearing the end when I have my first RE appointment. Instead it’s going to drag things out for several more weeks. I’m so angry that I have no control over anything anymore. I am angry that I had the hsg this month, and this is a wasted cycle since I won’t ovulate, and I’m missing out on the increased chances of conception with the hsg. I’m angry that I went through the shitty headaches and mood swings with the clomid for NOTHING!

Oh and the funniest thing is that he wants to do 100mg of clomid again. Why? It’s not working. I firmly requested to try femara, since I don’t want to waste any MORE time doing the same thing that isn’t working. I didn’t tell him I already made an appointment with the RE, because I wanted to see what he had to say. It’s definitely time to move on, even if it’s all out of pocket. Even if it costs me more to do femara + IUI with an RE, I will at least feel better that it’s with an expert. With someone whose nurses might actually ever CALL ME BACK.

I’m going to get some food now, because food makes everything better. How sick is that?

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